Depression

[kingofpain]

it's been 5 months since i've broken up with my boyfriend by i haven't made progress at all... for the 1st two months we were still quite ok but after that, it's almost zero communication if not for my efforts. it really shattered me and made me depressed. sometimes i won't eat for 3 days, hoping that one day my body will just become too weak to wake up and live another day. everyday i just pray for God to take me. the pain's too much to take. i've researched on suicide methods and all.. i'm just scared to attempt to do so and for my attempt to fail... didn't want to live through it. i wanted to make sure that if i do commit suicide that it'd be for sure and certain. i've probably overdosed on medicine... but not enough to kill me i know... i just needed to do something to address the hurting i felt. i just didn't have enough meds at that time. what i took tho, was enough to keep me vomiting the next day. it probably did my liver some damage but i'm ok now and i don't want to have it checked. i've tried to slit my wrist but i'm scared to see blood... so i made shallow slashes on my leg instead... i had one incident where i was just talking to myself, i thought i was going crazy. it's really eating me up and i want to snap out of it. in my mind i know the right thing to do but i just can't. it's not easy when you feel so much for a person. and it makes it all the more difficult when that person is still treating you like you don't exist. the worst feeling is how i feel so useless and worthless. like everything i do or i've done is or was wrong. i feel so pathetic about myself. i can't see a way out and it's like i'm digging a deeper hole for myself now. i started smoking and i smoke everytime i feel so bad. my sleeping habits got really wrecked. sometimes i don't sleep, at times for just 2 hours, at times 15 hours straight. and work isn't helping as well. i've lost my interest in things i was usually most passionate about. it's like i just want to be alone, not see or talk to anyone else especially to happy people who are in love. it's driving me mad. i've thought about seeing a psychologist .. hopefully a psychiatrist i feel like i need medication to stabilize my mood and my thinking... i want to get rid of my desire to just not wake up anymore. i want to be okay and get back to my old self. it's so hard. i haven't opened this up to my friends because whenever i try to, they don't understand nor sympathize. they just tell me off and get mad at me. and say it's pathetic. it doesn't help at all. it's not that i don't know what to do, it's that i don't know how to get myself to do it..

[tonyaclinard]

The remedy you need is for you to find what your purpose is and go for it. Your purpose is not to be a door mat for someone who does not see you at all. You need to move on and go on with your life.

Go back to school and major in something that you feel good about.

Relationships come and go!

By you just talking about committing suicide is only a means of reaching our for some attention. The attention you need you already have, NOW MAKE SOMETHING OF YOUR LIFE!

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"!

KNOW YOUR PURPOSE!

[snapshot68]

you need someone to talk to and who will listen, a stranger on here can be good like me im a good listener or a therapist u need someone to hear u out and listen i go throuigh what u do n im alot better god only gives u as much as u can handle and he says a strong women . if u kill yourself ur giving up and that would make god and alot of people very sad.