[cripper]

it gets me down and I dont know what to do

[stulchinsky]

Hello, this is a forum moderator responding. Although I do not have a direct answer to your question, I would like to refer you to the following physician-developed and -monitored content for additional information:
http://www.mentalhealthchannel.net/depression/course.shtml
http://www.mentalhealthchannel.net/depression/types.shtml
http://www.mentalhealthchannel.net/depression/treatments.shtml

I wish you the very best.