Depression

[kaylaa]

I'm 16 almost 17. Everyday is an ongoing episode between my family and I. My mom had me when she was 18. Let me just start off by saying right now.. maybe some girls are very mature at a young age and will end up raising a child very well.. but most likely you're not and all you're doing is screwing up your child's life.. If you really think you're doing the right thing? then the right thing was to not have sex.. but to those who have succeeded with their child since young.. congratulations I know you must've made an ultimate struggle. Well. My mom you would think was a "mature teenager". She had a 4.0 since she was in grade school..She was the "perfect child" as my grandmother would like to call her. Well she's probably the worst person I've ever known. Ever since I can remember my mom has not been in my life, my grandparents raised me and disciplined me as my parents. I wish they were on that note. Not only that but when I was two she made the exact same mistake and had another child. So both me and my brother were raised by my grandparents.. Except his dad actually cared and has seen him ever other weekend since he was born. I have no dad.. don't even know who or where he is. By the time I was nine, I really needed my mother in my life.. I remember crying on her bed wishing she would giveme the time of day and not be so worried about maintaining a "boyfriend" and going out on vacations ever two weeks. Well almost a year and a half ago my mom got married to my "stepdad." two weeks later she was already pregnant.. Not only am I not comfortable with my "new" dad, But I've had to get used to having a baby around the house. I've tried numberous times to "run away" and become emancipated. I have a part-time job.I'm homeschooled now because I have to take on the role of helping raising the baby. Every waking day of my life my mom and I fight all day long screaming at eachother.. I've had psychiatric help and she diagnost me as being clinically depressed.. I took a test and it was "off" the charts.. although I don't get any medications I just have to live with it until I'm 18. I absolutely HATEmy life. I want so badly to move in with my grandparents again. I hate fighting with my mom and stepdad all the time.. I'm in shakles I'm not allowed to see my friends.. to see daylight ever. I don't know where to turn to.. I've tried to get them to consent to me leaving but they won't. does anyone have any advice as to what I can do.. What I couldpossibly say.. Please don't tell me I have to wait until I'm 18 or becomeemancipated.. that's of the OBVIOUS. My story of course has more to it.. she's emotionally abused me my entire life.. she talks down on me and makes me feel bad about myself. does anyone know what I could do..

any advice would help.
thank you.