Eating Disorders

[tearsofpain]

PLEASE HELP!!! I dont know what to do... I have always been thin or fit my whole life.. Im 5'2 and Ive always been around 100 to 105. I have always been into fitness and conscious about my weight. I dont know what the hell happened but it happened like this.. im gonna tell this briefly.. I basically was (I BELIEVE MISDIAGNOSED) with bipolar disorder .. they put me on all these meds and it was really really hard to get off of them... infact I had to move out of the state to get away from my family so that would stop hasseling me about staying off of them.. I did get off of them and I feel alot better!!! the problem is is that when I came back I realized I was up to 115 lbs!! which is quite a a gain for me!!! At that time I was not binge eating or anything.. I have no idea how i gained it besides the fact that I was used to exercisiing all the time and teaching aerobics and at the time I moved I didnt do much exercise. anyway... after I realized that i got to 115 i became obsessed with body image and eating and exercising.. it was like the more i would diet the more i would think about food and the more i would end up eating... now it has become a HUUUUUUUUGE problem to me.. its is all i think about. its friday night and here i am typing away on the computer about it.. I have now gained more weight and I am 125!!!!! more than I have ever been in my entire life.. I am embarrassed to be around my friends.. I never go out and barley talk to them anymore. None of my clothes fit and I refuse to throw them away and admit defeat. I try so so so hard to lose weight and I exercise all the time and buy healthy food and try so hard to eat well but i keep ending up binging and I can not stop and I dont know what to do.!!! what i dont want to do is seek psycological help.... i really am afraid of psychiatrists to be honest.. im against pharms. sorry!!! and um ive tried counseling and it just made me start crying and it didnt help at all. can someone please help me!

[UroDoc]

why not go back to doing aerobics. I know you know this but eating normally (portion control) and increasing physical activity is the way to go. You might try weight watchers so you can be around people to support you. Good luck.

[aj taylor]

i know just how ur feeling, ive always worried about my weight since i was bout 13, for many yrs i hardley eat anything un was bout 6 stone at my lightest. As time went on i seemed to get better un eat normally. Now 12yrs on i have been suffering from binging & purging im gaining weight un feeling ill & so tired all the time. too tired to exercise!! as soon as i get home its a constent battle to stay away for the kitchen. i tell myself every morning that today is the day i stop, but i carnt its like something has taken over my rational thought!! im i going mad?? im a grown woman of 33 with a child.
Some times i think if i cud stay off food altogeter for awhile maybe i could break the cycle
i will just have to lock myself away for a week with no food in the house!!

Confused & fed up with this battle x

[tearsofpain]

I do the same thing!!! and its like insane to even see feel myself typing this because I never used to have this problem and i feel the same way ... ive tried fasts though and I always break them usually slowly and then end up binging. and also i tell myself everyday that that is they day ill stop just like you do and then I ruin it and am depressed for the rest of the day. this week i told my self i would eat only fruits and veggies and sat. i could have whatever i wanted.. i did it for 2 days and then today i ruined it!!!!! i have thought of going to a detox spa or something where you eat raw for 30 days and just drink juice and stuff. it cleanses your body.. because i believe alot of the foods have addictive chemicals. but right now im in school and dont have the time or money... i would do it myself but i always ruin it!!! maybe we can help each other like seriously get on here every single day and every single time we feel like doing it.. and report what we do!!! now you said puging... does that mean throwing up? Also im sorry im not familiar with what 6 stone is? how many pounds are you and how much did you gain? if you dont mind me asking? also to start having more engery to exercise i started taking b 12 vitamins and b compex and it game me more energy but if i keep eating like a cow than my exercise is a waste

[aj taylor]

hi im Amanda i live in the midlands uk.
Its good too hear im not the only 1 who has these feelings. Its so hard for people to understand what we go through.
In my late teens i weighed 6 stone (84pounds) Im 5ft4 tall. that was my lowest weight.
Now im as heavy as i was after child birth think about 130 pounds, not too sure because i throw my scales away 3 months ago to try un stop myself obsessing over my weight.
dont think i would dare at the moment!!!! but my clothes feel tight :-(
Its helped me being on here today ive only bin sick twice.
do you find the nites are the worst time??
I can be good all day then soon as i start eating i carnt stop ( its so fustrating)
Oh yerh purging is making yourself sick. Its so gross to even say it!
Went on anther forum today and sum silly women posted a message saying how we should eat healthy.
I replied " you mite aswell tell suffers to fly to the moon & eat moon cheese!!!! If it were that easy dont u think we would do it!!!
If only they had 1 clue of how life is for us.
The surport thing sounds a good idea lets try un become "healthy" lol x

[tearsofpain]

okay!! yeah i know!!! its like yeah um we know we should eat healthy!!! thats pretty obvious!! and i try... but like you said once you start eating you cant stop!!! if you are 5'4 and 130 though you probably arent too very overweight at all if at all but i understand if you are not comfortable with your weight!! I cant believe you were 84 pounds at one point though!!! wow!!! Hopefully you dont think you should be that skinny again right?? But I feel like I could never be too skinny!! its all I think about and talk about yet I continue to eat... And Ive already messed up the day!! Im sooo mad! I ate really bad like chips and salsa some mini 3 musketeers (4 of them!!!) and ALOT of cereal!! and waffles!!!! I am probably worse than you!!! And I dont purge, Ive tried but its really hard for me!!! I know its bad but I would do anything to lose weight! do you do it often? do you do it right after you eat? does it get easier? Im not encouraging you to do it in any way!! what we need to do is learn how to eat normally!!! weve got to find a way!!! do you think that if we fast for a while and introduce food really really slowly back in that we will be able to? becasue it is like food is addicting once you start you cant stop!!! one time i lost a whole bunch of weight drinking only this stuff called naked juice and eating fruit only. and i was barley every hungry and then ocass. id have something else but i could barley eat because such a little amount of food would fill me up and make me feel like i ate a whole bunch.. ive tried to do that again but for some reason i cant :( ughhh do you have any ideas?? I am going to florida in 8 weeks and i have cellulite on my stomach!!!!!

[aj taylor]

Ive had 2 binges to day which is good for me its normally more.
Had 5 packets of crisps, 2 choc bars, 4cakes, 2yoghurts,half a fruit flan and 2litres of water( so it all comes back up easy) it all started from eating 2bickies at work! cos once i had them i had ruined my day anyway!! its mad i know:-$

[aj taylor]

i think i need someone to be on my case if you know what i mean? if they know my tricks to hide what i do then i mite not be able to do it. I dont know???
I live with my boyfriend he knows ive had eating probs but dont think he knows how bad i am.
i buy food all the time so he dont see its missing.i run the shower so he carnt hear me being sick. its just my big horrible secret!

[tearsofpain]

do you think that purging helps keep the weight off? i know that it is horrible that I am asking for advise on it but its better than just binging without it ... atleast i think!!!! okay I will get on your case and you get on mine!! tomorrow we will be perfect!! Im probably not going to eat anything at all because it helps me start fresh.. and then the next day i will allow myself everytime i eat to have only one thing! do you think that we should just email each other instead so everyone doesnt see this? or should we keep it here incase anyone else has any advise!!! does the purging cause other health problems? please try to be good tomorrow!!! i will help you!!!! im here for you!!! by the way my name is jenna. and im 23 how old did u say u were?

[aj taylor]

i dont know if it helps much, because after ur sick u feel better for a short time then u become really hungry cos ur tummy is empty & it starts alover again. Also you start eating even more cos u know ur gona get rid of it. ive put on weight & im doing it.
Im gona not eat tomoro too, ive pulled my tummy mucsles from being sick too much yesterday. It has afew side afects, i get lot of head aches cos i dehydrate, my gums bleed loads, ive always got a sore throat & tonge & i get IBS
think my body is f**ked!!!
we can email if you like x