[theorignalemobunny]

i think i have bulimia and have been making my self throw up after i av eating food. i feel now that i cant eat with out throwing up, i av been suffering depression for 4 years and i av been self harming for 2 years. i havent been to the doctors because my mum found out i was harming and went mad now i dont want to tell her that i might have bulimia. i feel really bad but i really cant cope with everyday life as i get bullied i am olny 15 and really want help.

i just need something to stop me feeling like this

[UroDoc]

If your doing it for weight loss then iy sounds like bulimia. If your doing it just to torture yourself then it probable isn't. In either case it sounds like you need assistance from a good counsolr or therapist. You shoudl know you are not alone. Given your age you might start by finding someone at school (teacher/nurse) that can either help or hook you up with teh right person.Also given your age it is not wise to give out your email which we will edit out of your post. Your more than welcome to continue posting and interacting with people in our forums. Good luck.

[sammik]

i am double your age but i understand. this is common in your age group believe it or not.
the good news is most people get better with treatment like cognitive behavioral therapy or they ssimply grow out of it. famous people have also suffered with cutting and depression. one that comes to mind is angelina jolie and look at her life now! the difference between growing out of it and getting help is how fast you want it to go away. people think depression is an illness so it can only be fixed with medication. medication is a great safety net in some cases but it is not the ultimate answer. the answer lies within you.i know you probably hear that and get discouraged because when we are depressed, we have low self esteem.
ultimately how we look at ourselves and our lives determine how we look at the world. you have to change the way you interpret things and how you see yourself.what is good about you,can you change what you dont like? i could go on and on. i understand more than i need to get in to. depression keeps you watching yourself,listening to your mind, and checking, sometimes you can feel numb and the cutting can come in.does this come close?

[theorignalemobunny]

yes that is right i really do hate myself and the cutting does makeel better i dont want to get worse but i think i am going to

[aj taylor]

Im 33 yrs old & i to suffer with depression & bulimia.
I have had an unhealthy realationship with food since i was 13,
i think bulimia is a by product of depression its away of feeling comfort from food & purdging is the punishment we feel we deserve.
I hope you find someone you trust to confide in & you can bet this problem
I believe if we can deal with the depression the by products will dissapear.

Good luck with your battle
a fellow suffer x

[theorignalemobunny]

this might sound wierd but i think it is good wen i no someone else going throught the same thing i dont wish it on them n i no i shoulnd but then it feels like im not on my own. i dont have friends that i av met i only have friends on the internet. i still feel really bad and made my self sick again i really want to stop i hate doing it but for some reason i cant stop it is driving me crazy

from emma
xxx

[aj taylor]

Your rite it does help to know were not alone so dont feel bad
It makes me feel im not such a "freek" after all, if you know what i mean
Its so hard for any1 that hasnt sufferd this to understand how we feel.
At the minute im trying to have as many possitive days i can!! this may sound mad but im trying to see the possitive things in my day. If i have bleek days my binging is even worse.
I know its hard but just try un think of afew things each day that were good & try & turn negative crap into possitive "hope"
wish i could help you hun, what do i know im 33 & still a mess!!!
Amanda x

[theorignalemobunny]

thanks amanda
everything at the moment is getting to me and i try to be positive but yesterday i ended up running out of my class because i simply couldnt cope anymore. i am fining it eaier to copea bit better but it is still not gd i want to be norma bt i cant see how i can do that wen i do stuff like this
love emma
x

[aj taylor]

hi Emma
you cud try going to your doctor im sure they carnt tell your mum wat has gone on in your consoltation. going to my doctor has helped me alot. sounds like you need a break from things. do you have a close friend or relitive you cud confide in?
\you wont be at that school for much longer so try un hold in there hun. then you can walk away from the idiots who have been on your case. you can go to a new collage & make a fresh start. You have you whole life ahead of you. There will be sum gud & sum bad times, but believe me ive had more than my fair share of bad but the gud times make life worth living.
Show people your a fighter dont give in, just keep geting back up on your feet un say you wont give in. Look at what you have had to cope with more than ur fair share i wud say.
Try un get sum help u dont have to do it alone.

thinking of u Amanda x

[theorignalemobunny]

hi amanda,
well i av been talking to a teacher and they know everything, i dont think i could go to my doctors because i avent been to them in ages. i no school finishes soon but then i have to worry bout the outside life and i dont no if i can cope with thats
thanks
love emma
xx