[saphire77]

I just found out that i have PTSD on top of general anxiety disorder, depression uni-polar, and passive suicidal tendiencies. I looked up PTSD and it makes sense for alot of what is going on. I have a few tramas that led to this. As a child I was molested for 3 years by a neighbor boy, and most recently divorceed 2002 from domestic violence. Every form of abuse he did. And since then the torment continues. I have 2 kids by him so he is still in my life. I have a PRO I have put him in jail 5 times, but he still acts like I left him yesterday. Now that my therapist talked about PTSD I now know what triggers my down cycle when I can't think of one. I feel like I am off like some emotions running thru my body mainly balling up in my chest. I can't really explain the feeling, but was wondering if there were others out there like me. You think normal, sound normal, but in the back of your mind you are screaming. I feel like I am watching life thru a window, displaced. Is this normal for PTSD? I have been dealing with gettting properly diagnosed and medicated for 2 years. I still can't accept my illness and look for the cure. I have given up. Sucks to say but I have hit a brick wall looking for relief. I have thoughts of hurting myself (not suicide) I don't know where these thoughts derive from. All I can do is cry. So my question today is there anyone out there like me? I feel alone

[lost]

The answer to your question is yes there are. I have been trying to help my mother with her illness for five years, she reverts back to being a small child on a daily basis and has the same symptoms as you. She feels like there are physical knots in her body, she looses control of her body at times and has feelings of detachment. I am currently sifting through 5 years of video footage (a video diary of sorts) and finding it a very difficult life to watch let alone live. From what I understand the best way of dealing with it is to let your body and mind re-live it and it should work itself out. Then again I am not a therapist, I wish you the best of luck and if you have any other questions just let me know and I will do my best to answer them.